God,
I am trying my best to get over this frustration and angst I have. My husband and I went to church on Sunday hoping that would help. I can't say it did much for me. I feel disconnected from you. I feel far from where I was - simply because my spirit is tired of praying for things to happen that never do. I remember going through bouts of this long ago... when I was praying for the right man to come into my life... and one day, finally, when I least expected, you did just that... When I recall times like that, I can see your faithfulness. I can see your plan at work and your perfect (but definitely not on my watch) timing. I don't know why my spirit cannot find that same perspective and continue to pray even when I am at a loss for words.
Help me find you. Help me to trust in your plan. Help to see and believe that your way is better for me than anything I could control on my own. Help me to stay fervent in praying for my husband and help me to find the patience to wait on you, God. Help me to find the right words to encourage my husband and help him to stay encouraged as he waits for the job you are preparing for him.
God - hear my prayer and give us an answer please.
In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.
My hubby and me
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
Monday, July 4, 2016
Not sure how to pray anymore...
God,
It's taken me weeks to even write this because my heart has been so conflicted.
You tell us to pray... even when we can't find the words... because you can hear the words in our hearts... Is that true? Can you hear the tears in my heart? Can you feel the frustration in my spirit? Can you understand the anger I feel inside? I pray - I pray some more - He prays - and He prays some more... And still - nothing happens...
I am beginning to feel as though we are being punished. For what, I am not sure. But my husband has struggled for YEARS to find work without any success. We've tried to stay strong. We've tried to stay encouraged. We've tried to just "keep praying until something happens". But how long must we wait? Each time we feel as though a blessing is behind the next door, we end up disappointed.
Where are you, God? What can be your plan in all of this?
I am typically very steadfast in believing you are faithful and will answer our prayers - but, at this point, I am just not sure anymore.
If you can hear me - I need a sign that you are listening to my prayers. I need to know that these cries for a job blessing for my husband are not in vain. I need to know you are there, God.
It's taken me weeks to even write this because my heart has been so conflicted.
You tell us to pray... even when we can't find the words... because you can hear the words in our hearts... Is that true? Can you hear the tears in my heart? Can you feel the frustration in my spirit? Can you understand the anger I feel inside? I pray - I pray some more - He prays - and He prays some more... And still - nothing happens...
I am beginning to feel as though we are being punished. For what, I am not sure. But my husband has struggled for YEARS to find work without any success. We've tried to stay strong. We've tried to stay encouraged. We've tried to just "keep praying until something happens". But how long must we wait? Each time we feel as though a blessing is behind the next door, we end up disappointed.
Where are you, God? What can be your plan in all of this?
I am typically very steadfast in believing you are faithful and will answer our prayers - but, at this point, I am just not sure anymore.
If you can hear me - I need a sign that you are listening to my prayers. I need to know that these cries for a job blessing for my husband are not in vain. I need to know you are there, God.
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