Not sure how to pray anymore...

God,

It's taken me weeks to even write this because my heart has been so conflicted.

You tell us to pray... even when we can't find the words... because you can hear the words in our hearts... Is that true? Can you hear the tears in my heart? Can you feel the frustration in my spirit? Can you understand the anger I feel inside? I pray - I pray some more - He prays - and He prays some more... And still - nothing happens...

I am beginning to feel as though we are being punished. For what, I am not sure. But my husband has struggled for YEARS to find work without any success. We've tried to stay strong. We've tried to stay encouraged. We've tried to just "keep praying until something happens". But how long must we wait? Each time we feel as though a blessing is behind the next door, we end up disappointed.

Where are you, God? What can be your plan in all of this?

I am typically very steadfast in believing you are faithful and will answer our prayers - but, at this point, I am just not sure anymore.

If you can hear me - I need a sign that you are listening to my prayers. I need to know that these cries for a job blessing for my husband are not in vain. I need to know you are there, God.